Friday, September 23, 2016

NXT In 60 Seconds

They signed Cedric! (clap clap clapclapclap)
Photo Credit:WWE.com
Samoa Joe: Apparently I injured your King so bad he's going to be out for six to twelve weeks.  REGAL!  Big X.  My hands.  NOW.
Regal: No.  I'm going to fix this.  I don't know how yet, but I'm going to fix this.
Joe: Better get used to these, then. shoves Nakamura's medical report into Regal's chest and storms off

Cedric Alexander: Huh.  I thought I was a Monday night guy now.  Anyways, I'm here, too, and I'm going to win in the main event tonight.

Liv Morgan: I don't bow down to anyone, and the division isn't cleared out yet.
Asuka: "You think you are ready?  Let's find out."  ™ smile!
Everybody Ever, Even You: ASUKA'S GONNA KILL HER ASUKA'S GONNA KILL HER

Oney Lorcan: weird noises despite getting a new Tron and a song from the Flogging Murphys
Full Sailors: echo weird noises in solidarity
Austin Aries: ...y'all are weird.  Bathe in my majesty!
OL: Bathe in this SLAP!  Side headlock!  Side headlock!  Side headlock!
Aries: ...this is getting really annoyin
OL: I said SIDE HEADLOCK DAMMIT
Aries: Yup, tired of this.  Back suplex into the top rope with concurrent momentum sending you into the apron and then the floor!
OL: weird noises also indicating pain
Continuity Bear: TWO SEGS BUT I GOT A FEW ON!
Aries: Choking!  Eye rakes!  Diving elbows!  The universe is going back to unfolding as it should.
OL: European uppercuts!  Machine gun chops!
Aries: ...yeah, no. Gallagher corner dropkick!  Kneestrike!  Last Chancery!  You tap out now!
OL: does
Aries: I'm a man!  Such a man!  I'm a real man's man and I make people tap out!  Man, I wish a Hideo WOULD come up on me and talk some smack I'd lay him out so fast the time-space continuum would rupture man listen 
ITAMI: sup tho
Aries: I left the water on and the stove running byeeeeeeeeeeeee

Aliyah: Could be worse.  I could be Liv Morgan.  Did you guys see that thing earlier?  She's gonna die.
Billie Kay: As opposed to you?
Aliyah: :(
Billie Kay: I'm kidding.
Aliyah: :)!
Billie Kay: This is more of a light maiming.
Aliyah: ...
Billie Kay: ...
Aliyah: ...but I don't want to be lightly mai
Billie Kay: I KICK YOU IN THE FACE NOW

SAnitY

Full Sailors: CEDRIC ALEXANDER WHOO
El Idolo: And now for MY rapturous ovation!
Full Sailors: eh you a'ight
Cien: no es bueno
Code Of Honor: adhered to, ironically enough
Cedric Alexander: wrestles
Cien: counter wrestles
Crowd: applauds
Cien: wrestles
Cedric: counter wrestles
Crowd: applauds
Cien: Let's turn this up a bit.  Springboard tornillo!
Cedric: Right there with you. Handspring enzuigiri!  TOPE CON HILO! Air Charlotte springboard lariat!
Full Sailors: CEDRIC ALEXANDER WHOO
Cien: Oh, silly me, I thought you were trying to win.  One-armed powerbomb!
Cedric: wait
Cien: Forearms!  Moonsault!
Cedric: Dodge!
Cien: STANDING moonsault in a fluid motion!
Cedric: Kickout!
Cien: How DARE you!  Chokes!  Forearms!
Cedric: B-but I'm down in the corner
Cien: I DON'T CARE MAYBE ROBERTO PENDEJO WAS RIGHT ABOUT ME I'M GONNA KNEES YOU IN THE FACE
Cedric: Or this could happen--
Lumbar: ✓
Cien: ow :(
Full Sailors: CEDRIC ALEXANDER WHOO
Cien: thinks about it
Cedric: Dude, what's with that look in your eyes?
Cien: WHAT look? thinks about it harder
Cedric: The look on your face right now!
Cien: What LOOK?  thinks about it The Hardest Oh, this?  This is just my face.  My ridiculously handsome face.  Saul Goodman.  Love that guy.  Bring it in for a hug and a hand raise, yeah?
Cedric: ...uh, okay.
Cien: ¿Todos es bueno, no? still thinking about it