Thursday, February 8, 2018

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 223

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES
Photo Credit: Getty Images
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I'm going to let these guys handle it:



go birds

I don't know if he will, but he should. Nick Foles will get all the press, and rightfully so, but man, that win doesn't happen without Graham knocking the ball loose and almost as equally as importantly, Derek Barnett scooping it up almost immediately. The way Patriots Devil Magic goes, if Barnett doesn't pick that up right away, one of the Pats' squirrelly White wide receivers probably picks it up, and Tom Brady ends up throwing three touchdowns to Rob Gronkowski in the next 30 seconds or some shit. But still, Graham made that shit happen, and it was the ultimate vindication of a dude who was roundly mocked when he was drafted and ended up being the best defensive player from that draft outside of perhaps Ndamukong Suh, who if you believe the rumors wants to play here next year anyway. Also, he unblocked everyone on Twitter yesterday, so not only is he the GOAT defensive lineman, he's the GOAT goodwill ambassador too.

go birds

If I'm being honest, I'm still partial to Joel Embiid sonning Russell Westbrook a couple of weeks back, but objectively, the Greek Freak did jump over a whole other man. So while the former dunk benefited my team more, Antetokounmpo's dunk was probably objectively more impressive and also perhaps the best dunk in NBA history. Time will tell!

My knee-jerk reaction is John Cena, because he's almost always just in bullshit worked-shoot programs anymore, and yet the matches that come out of them end up ranging from FIRE (AJ Styles at the Rumble in '17) to passable at least (Roman Reigns at No Mercy), but has he really been around enough to be the answer to this question? The same quandary goes for Brock Lesnar, whose week-to-week build ends up being Paul Heyman cutting the same promo over and over again on his behalf to the effect of getting sick of him but then he always brings the heat. But again, he's not around enough to justify that answer. Kevin Owens has been in broadly terrible stories, but his big matches have been only good as a ceiling outside of the Chris Jericho feud, but that build was terrific. I don't know. I default to Cena and Lesnar then. Possibly Roman Reigns in years before 2017.

Foles was outed as having a large phallus, and well, the outline Finn Bálor's hog is visible and from the looks of it impressive nearly every week. Put two and two together, and you have the Massive Mule Brothers across different sporting/entertainment media.

go birds

Protected user @adamsgroove asks:
Now that the Eagles have finally won the Super Bowl, how do you really feel?
go birds

I can see both sides of this issue enough not to be adamant about it. On one hand, having Foles around showed the value of having palpable depth at the position. How many times has a franchise quarterback gone down and the guy coming in to replace him couldn't hold his clipboard? Andrew Luck giving way to Scott Tolzien and ancient Matt Hasselbeck. Aaron Rodgers giving way to Tolzien and Brett Hundley. Even though Tyrod Taylor isn't an elite quarterback, look what happened when the Bills went to Nathan Peterman. Having someone you trust like Foles is immeasurable. As much as he was underwhelming in the regular season, and how much fans at the time like myself wanted Nate Sudfeld, well, Nate Sudfeld wasn't winning the Super Bowl. It would be nice to have that insurance again next year as Carson Wentz comes back from a heinous knee injury.

That being said, keeping Foles around when the team might not need him and then letting him walk for no value at the end of next season might be a mistake when he could net a few high draft picks to a QB-needy team. The Eagles are strong all-around, but free agency looms, and even then, not all positions are too strong that they don't need shoring up. For example, what if Nigel Bradham walks? The secondary got shredded in the Super Bowl, which is problematic even if it came from a lack of pass rush. You can always use extra pass rushers. You can't count on Jason Peters staying healthy after his injury history, and offensive line is such a precarious position group because they get the most contact on each play and run the risk of injury. Halapoulivaati Vaitai rounded out and became a very good tackle, but what if he gets hurt? Who replaces him? Cheap talent through the draft is how teams stay on top, and if you can't get high in the draft by being terrible, you get there through savvy trading. Foles might be a great asset to keep around for the team, but it might end up that a seasoned backup quarterback is a luxury that an elite team trying to stay elite can't afford.

So it's a crapshoot. All I know is this though.

go birds

I don't know, man. I got a lot of work to do, and also, go birds. So uh, can you get back to me on that one?

Honestly, I can see McMahon being tone-deaf and delusional enough that she could do an episode of Undercover Boss and infiltrate the Performance Center without anyone on the premises knowing who she was. Then again, she could do that now, before Ronda Rousey makes her a ma... a mainst... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I can't finish that phrase with a straight face. Fuck, she really is as grandiose and blitheringly moronic as her father, isn't she? Anyway, I can see her trying to get a starring role in a WWE Films project that gets theatrical release. Start smallish and try to cast a wider net for the future.